Porno Pirat! Are you struggling to get a handle on your hard drive? I remember my first hard drive, which I loaded with terabytes of endless samples of depravity from sites like Porno Pirat. It's not a free premium membership, but damn, it really helps. Some of you bastards need to start stockpiling before they turn off the Internet. Haven't you heard? The world is about to fucking end! This means that if we go into quarantine again and are forced to conserve electricity and Internet, and you want to watch some skin fic, all you'll be left with is all the depravity you've downloaded over the years. For perverts like me, there's enough porn to last forever, and I still have my favorite dick-arousing scenes to this day. It's just a safe route if you're serious about smack, or maybe you're the kind of pussy that reads smack like a horny middle-aged wife who's about to be divorced.
I'm not saying this shit is bad, but these stories come to life in the scenarios you'll see here on Porno Pirat. Anyone can read smack, and yeah, it feels good, I guess. It's like sexting, but we dudes are more visual, and when we jerk off, we want something to see to release that powerful charge we've been holding in for too long. Why can't life be like these scenes, where the bitch's fat ass is always available for spontaneous sexting? Or why can't she be so into eating ass that she begs me to bend over to get her rusty trombone? Maybe not for you. But for bastards like me, it's every Saturday, Wednesday, and Thursday after a slut crashes at my place after a long day of fucking her face. But I get why life can't be like that for you? Porn isn't real life, my man! Besides, maybe your time hasn't come yet, the bitches will come.
Who needs reality when you can change it with these steamy downloads? I've fucked some bad bitches, especially in the last month. Still, I haven't been able to cover every pornstar in the industry or even the amateur world. So when I'm checking them out with my dick out, I'm always impressed by the craftsmanship I see in these benchmark videos from sites like Porno Pirat. You'll become a real connoisseur after you've watched the same scene you downloaded multiple times like a fucking coach. Hey, the name of the game is knowing what makes a good scene. Like any movie, you have to see every frame, every angle, and every corny line to really get into it. Assuming you're ready to add to your offline porn stash, I'm going to walk you through the pros and cons I've found diving into this shit. Eventually, you'll see why this shit is worth the wait to download, or whether you should just check out that other site I've been recommending to you for years.
Overloaded Categories
One of the first things I noticed about Porno Pirat was how many categories and genres there are for a site that hosts third-party links to videos. It's not the most organized, but who the hell cares when you have basically every new release you can find? The only thing that could have made this shit better would have been full episodes, but instead, it's sample clips and videos. This is mostly what you'll see on the hub, so don't complain to me when the video cuts off at the end; buy a premium subscription, fuck you! If you really care about seeing the cumshot from "Only Anal", then by all means, get your dick and credit card out. Hell, most episodes show the cumshot and the entire skit, so it's not like you're missing out on much either way.
Before I start singing the praises of all the quirks and features of Porno Pirat, there's one big plus you motherfuckers need to know - those are the fucking latest clips and episodes. Holy shit! These motherfuckers have the latest scenes available for download, and even if they're not full-length movies, you can still download them, unlike a traditional site. I just scrolled through an Emily Pink scene called "No Mercy For My Asshole", if I downloaded that shit I'd have a hard time showing mercy to that dick. Hell, that's not the only scene that caught my attention; there's also Jennifer White starring in "Wife Slips Our Hotel Room Key To A Random BBC." If you're looking to turn your dick to the dark side, check out Elegant Angel's "Black Mommas Vol. 6" starring Ariana Ames, Zoe Sinn, Diamond Banks, Prince Yahshua, NY NY Lew, and Isiah Maxwell.
9,000+ Pages
With over nine thousand pages of video links, you don't have to worry about finding the perfect video. But if you like to have the latest episodes on your fap list, you'll love it. As soon as you open the page, you'll be greeted with the latest scenes from some of the most famous porn movies out there, like TeamSkeet, Blacked, Bang Bros, Reality Kings, and more, and it doesn't stop there. There's a categories section on the side, featuring classics like Ebony, Mature, Oral, Hentai, Masturbation, Softcore, Hardcore, and Gonzo. Since this is a Russian site, there are even genres that Russians specifically like, which is weird, but still useful if you're into that kind of thing. Another really useful section is simply called "Sections." I know it's a bit of a gimmick, but it works if you're just trying to find something quick; you'll see for yourself. Another thing you'll appreciate is that no matter what browser you're on, the page automatically translates into your language based on your location. I found this pretty damn useful, considering how many stupid sites I've visited today that just wouldn't translate. Sure, those sites were filled with ads too, but not Porno Pirat. Okay, maybe it doesn't have the sexiest name; it practically screams "I'm going to destroy your device!" To my surprise, it's actually ad-free and pretty clean. The only thing it could use some work is organization. Still, with over nine thousand pages of videos, I can tell these idiots are well past the point of no return. Oh well, that means more porn, right? Fuck yeah!
Unable to watch here
Unfortunately, you won't be able to download this shit and watch these clips. Yes, there are endless links, but they are all downloadable. You can find a few good links among the nine thousand videos. However, the ability to simply play a video without downloading would be damn rare here on Porno Pirat. Also, Porno Pirat does not host the videos on their site. The videos are hosted on a third-party service, so even having a video player wouldn't make a difference. Sure, that would be nice, but that's just wishful thinking.
Let's say you really want that kind of experience. In that case, your best bet is to sign up for a bunch of crappy premium sites that will cost you a hundred bucks a month to subscribe. Yeah, right! On top of that, this shit could be organized a lot better. I understand that nine thousand videos is a lot, and it's too late to hit the reload button. But maybe it can be fixed, and in my opinion, it would probably bring in a lot more visitors. Especially if they added a video player for streaming, but don't count on it.
Visit Porno Pirat
If you're planning on storing your digital files in a secret place for when your Wi-Fi decides to take a vacation, you might want to check out Porno Pirat. It's like the way squirrels watch porn: save now, watch later. Despite the variety, Porno Pirat offers you the latest episodes and categories, and even the most indecisive of us will be hard-pressed not to find something that will immediately tickle our cocks. No more thirty-minute searches and procrastination! Keep in mind that the lack of streaming and full-length movies is not a deal-breaker, but it's something to keep in mind when browsing. And of course, the lack of organization is damn annoying for a porn professional like me.
The irony is that it's so easy to find videos because the front page only has the latest, but when you want to find something you haven't seen in a while - good luck. So is Porno Pirat worth your time and nerves? It's not exactly what you need; know what you're getting into and you'll be happy, especially when you have all these new releases at your fingertips. Plus, maybe one day they'll introduce streaming and we can all sail off into the sunset, dick in hand, streaming our favorite content. Until then, consider this a map to your next digital adventure: finding sample links to your favorite porn movies so you can download them and keep them forever. Enjoy, motherfuckers!
